i feel singularly overwhelmed at the thought of not getting into the best school, about maybe compromising somehow. i am so choked up i can hardly talk to folks. i need some attention. i'm questioning my whole plan, the plan i've had in my back pocket for so long, jeez i just wanna live i wanna move i wanna just be and fuckitall i wanna be in school and doing research it all just seems so hard so competitive i don't wanna fail i don't wanna fall so do i just not do it because i may not succeed like i want to
i don't know
i don't know
ectomorphing endomorphs burn paper for warmth in asylum beds while wondering where their mothers are no one to help you now the white walls scream not like there ever was
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