a crisis of age. i'm sad i'm not younger, thinner, more able at some fucking thing. mostly biking. i'm not the best biker, i'd love to be better. i wanna be that pretty little thing again, the one getting all that attention. the person i used to be. sure, i still get attention. but i remember a time when i could count on it all the time. it fed something inside of me, something silly and small but damn.
it seems as though i better get thinner/prettier/fitter now, before i get any older, if I want to enjoy this time... and enjoy my body... hmmph...
maybe i should just do my (star) assignment.
ectomorphing endomorphs burn paper for warmth in asylum beds while wondering where their mothers are no one to help you now the white walls scream not like there ever was
10.10.2005
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