are to be expected, i guess. i'm kinda happy right now- the party i had here last night was marginal, at best, but the sex i had after the party was pretty fucking good. with someone i did not expect to be having sex with. almost a year later... interesting. he's kinda romantic in bed, its funny. he kisses all tender and intimate-like, and i guess i didn't expect it. i don't really remember it being like that before, but my memory of that time is clouded with some fucked up shit.
I'm at home, all by myself, and there is no television or movie to distract me, and it is all quiet and still, besides the whirring of my space heater. um, i don't know what to do. sleep? i have no good books to read right now (damn it).
hmmph.
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he said, "can i be completely honest?" my stomach jumped, preparing. "yeah." i responded. "of course." "i...
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i don't want to love him anymore. fuck. i want to be done. i want to be free of this. i don't want to care that he's with someon...
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of talking to people about my struggles. i just want to make decisions and figure shit out. i don't want to talk about drama anymore. at...
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