this month has been suprisingly beautiful... hard, and beautiful.
so many things have happened. I had a crush, pursued it, started dating him, was very doubtful about the situation, was skittish, he seemed like he really wanted to "be with me," i decided to go for it, after a couple months we decided to "be together," and a week later he decides that he doesn't want to do it.
hmm.
needless to say, i'm reeling. like a capsizing boat. i commit, he runs away- my fears playing out perfectly. I hate it when that happens. Really hate it.
i made a mistake, though, i think... i told him that i didn't think i fell in love with him, and now that seems laughable. how could i have said that? i must have such a tenuous relationship with love, to need it to fit into a certain sort of box. i'm sorry for it now.
ectomorphing endomorphs burn paper for warmth in asylum beds while wondering where their mothers are no one to help you now the white walls scream not like there ever was
2.05.2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
being committed to what I do-- having a passion for what I provide is really important to me. What will it take for me to get more hyped? ...
-
during a nice long session yesterday my very pleasant counselor suggested that it was more important for me to work on the abandonment issue...
-
after the telling and the acknowledging i am dreaming of you but not of you-- in my heaven there is a place like that we kept together for t...
-
I was looking at a friend's friendster page, and they're all "so political" and "so politically popular" and lik...
No comments:
Post a Comment