what the hell i'm doing. i thought i wanted to date r again, and now i'm not so sure. he's rad, i miss him, but i *don't* miss the processing. perhaps i'm attempting to challenge myself. somehow. oh well. i now decide... to fucking stop needing to process with him on the stuff that he triggers with me. i know that i can do that, even if its
fucking hard. and it will be.
r and i have a pattern: we say things that trigger each other and whoever's getting triggered usually feels a need to address it with the other, rather than getting a fucking session. jeez already. so he said "addicted" a couple of times. so what. its annoying, because he doesn't really know what addiction is like. i wish he would find another word, but oh well. i don't need to process with him about it. goddamn.
on the other hand... my life is pretty damned good. i met a pretty girl last nite. she is rad. i called her to ask her out for Friday nite. we made out on the dance floor after a long time of dancing, touching, freaking, she's lovely.
yay for me.
ectomorphing endomorphs burn paper for warmth in asylum beds while wondering where their mothers are no one to help you now the white walls scream not like there ever was
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