how much i love that skin on skin interaction
tenderness pleasant and rejuvenating
deciding to be intimate regardless of familiarity
is a deeply connecting decision
i had great fun
and the more wonderful thing is that i am not feeling desperate or overwhelmed with emotion/need/etc., i enjoyed the sex, being in bed all morning, bike riding, eating together, connecting at the park
and although it seems like more would be fun
i have no deep seated need or expectation for more
which, if you have seen my machinations and flailings listed so vulnerably below
is a great relief for me.
There is another aspect of this, however--
I have been relatively laissez-faire in regards to whom I date/spend time with/get into relationships with in the past; it seems more important now to be discerning, and date folks with whom it seems reasonable/feasible to be in a possible lifelong partnership. Babytime might be nearing and stability looks more appealing. If i am going to start dating then I am dating with an actual objective. Different than before, indeed. Very different.
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he said, "can i be completely honest?" my stomach jumped, preparing. "yeah." i responded. "of course." "i...
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i don't want to love him anymore. fuck. i want to be done. i want to be free of this. i don't want to care that he's with someon...
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of talking to people about my struggles. i just want to make decisions and figure shit out. i don't want to talk about drama anymore. at...
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