during a nice long session yesterday my very pleasant counselor suggested that it was more important for me to work on the abandonment issues incurred by my mother than to be in a relationship-- and that I should prioritize the former over the latter.
I think he suggested that I could have sex, but that a relationship would be too much for me right now. and interestingly enough, the dude is correct. I can't see my way through my abandonment issues right now- and need some time and space from any committed romantic entanglement. I'm simply not sure if i can have sex in this state- because i'm tired of disconnected sex, and anything tender and vulnerable triggers the hell outta me right now. argh.
Well, i suppose knowing is part of the battle, at least.
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he said, "can i be completely honest?" my stomach jumped, preparing. "yeah." i responded. "of course." "i...
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i don't want to love him anymore. fuck. i want to be done. i want to be free of this. i don't want to care that he's with someon...
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of talking to people about my struggles. i just want to make decisions and figure shit out. i don't want to talk about drama anymore. at...
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