to the meeting, and sat there *almost* crying the whole time; it was strange to be in a self-help environment without the explicit permission to cry as much as i wanted or needed to.
it's true, people there are very accepting, and there was something overwhelmingly-ridiculously-surprisingly freeing about being in a room with lots of folks who have had similar life experiences and declaring myself. I cried then. I made _the_ decision. For today. I feel fear & anxiety about the possibility of looking crazy and losing people, while i feel powerful in this decision that I believe will be the best for me; it's the next step in my personal liberation. I believe that.
i did this, i made this mess, and i've picked myself up and decided to move the fuck on into a different future for myself. shit.
ectomorphing endomorphs burn paper for warmth in asylum beds while wondering where their mothers are no one to help you now the white walls scream not like there ever was
1.09.2006
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