what if... everything i'm doing is for nothing? What if dr. beyler is simply humoring me- what if i really don't have the talent, i've been fooling myself and convincing my self that i'm a damn big fish, a big smart fish, but i'm living in a basketball sized pond. when i'm transferred to the lake i'm dead meat. eaten immediately. more fit to chug it out in my little fish bowl, than to get transferred... out into the open water...
should i ask him? i wonder what he'd say.
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he said, "can i be completely honest?" my stomach jumped, preparing. "yeah." i responded. "of course." "i...
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i don't want to love him anymore. fuck. i want to be done. i want to be free of this. i don't want to care that he's with someon...
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of talking to people about my struggles. i just want to make decisions and figure shit out. i don't want to talk about drama anymore. at...
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