what if... everything i'm doing is for nothing? What if dr. beyler is simply humoring me- what if i really don't have the talent, i've been fooling myself and convincing my self that i'm a damn big fish, a big smart fish, but i'm living in a basketball sized pond. when i'm transferred to the lake i'm dead meat. eaten immediately. more fit to chug it out in my little fish bowl, than to get transferred... out into the open water...
should i ask him? i wonder what he'd say.
ectomorphing endomorphs burn paper for warmth in asylum beds while wondering where their mothers are no one to help you now the white walls scream not like there ever was
7.31.2005
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being committed to what I do-- having a passion for what I provide is really important to me. What will it take for me to get more hyped? ...
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riding home tonite i wondered where all of my neediness has gotten me, where i have ended up, what deep and fucked up hole patriarchy has du...
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so thanks, i suppose. um. i am learning a lesson here-- what have I done to other people? i wonder.
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man, rejection is blowing my mind. i'm done capsizing, i'm freezing in the arctic waters. i woke up this morning at six, proceeded t...
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