it is horrible

to see folks that I went to high school with on friendster/myspace, or really anywhere on the internet. y'know why? because high school was painfully embarrassing. And I was a fucked up drug addict in high school. I was probably absolutely horrible to folks and I might not remember any of it. And then I see folks that did messed up shit to me, and I wanna find them and beat the shit out of them. or hug them and tell them its ok. at least something emotional and restorative.

Hey everyone, I'm sorry I was a fucked up addict. I'm not anymore. I put my life back together, I'm healing myself- and i'm scared shitless to talk to most of you. so there we go.

Jordan, I'm sorry. Charlotte, you were awfully mean to me, but I'm sure I deserved some of it. I remember sitting in Jordan's living room, probably coming down or something as melodramatic, and crying about how it felt like no one cared, no one loved me. James looked at me and said, well maybe that's because no one does. I stopped crying.

i just wanted to feel ok, and drugs did that for me. for a little while. Just trying to get by. What did the other kids without mamas do? What did the other kids with overworked parents do? I dunno. This is what i did. Snorted and smoked meth. ick.