this moment

is life and death and rape and birth
and so much all tied up into
a single imaging session.

it's amazing what one pelvic
and transvaginal
ultrasound will do

there should be a trigger warning

i do feel like i need a deep, dark cry

one to release the fear
of the past and the possible future
who has trespassed
and what that impact still
may
be
to
me

are you really still taking my moments from me?

and yet there is strength

i birthed babies
i grew them and nourished them and loved them
inside me
and through that tunnel
they found their first breaths

i did that too

it's not all rape.
it's not all death.

it's not