in order to be present here today i have to move some things within me-- process a little-- get clearer.
send me your position
getting lonely down here
this is the time in my life that i can use, i can really mine for the artinpain that i have been craving for so long, the reason that i left portland, i'm looking for that struggle that will force me to create art to write to be poetic with my life to see the beauty in the difficulty
i have to end some things and start some things very soon, today in fact. it's time to start believing again, being the fully powerful person that i have grown to be, to exercise my willpower-- i want to reign in my desires run rampant, they are causing suffering i can't manage right now. Can I do the things that truly ground me on a daily basis? I have been looking for satisfaction in pursuing base impulses and finding only fleeting fulfillment. Sex, food, drink, television-- I have always known that I would not find what i needed in those things.
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he said, "can i be completely honest?" my stomach jumped, preparing. "yeah." i responded. "of course." "i...
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i don't want to love him anymore. fuck. i want to be done. i want to be free of this. i don't want to care that he's with someon...
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of talking to people about my struggles. i just want to make decisions and figure shit out. i don't want to talk about drama anymore. at...
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