in order to be present here today i have to move some things within me-- process a little-- get clearer.
send me your position
getting lonely down here
this is the time in my life that i can use, i can really mine for the artinpain that i have been craving for so long, the reason that i left portland, i'm looking for that struggle that will force me to create art to write to be poetic with my life to see the beauty in the difficulty
i have to end some things and start some things very soon, today in fact. it's time to start believing again, being the fully powerful person that i have grown to be, to exercise my willpower-- i want to reign in my desires run rampant, they are causing suffering i can't manage right now. Can I do the things that truly ground me on a daily basis? I have been looking for satisfaction in pursuing base impulses and finding only fleeting fulfillment. Sex, food, drink, television-- I have always known that I would not find what i needed in those things.
ectomorphing endomorphs burn paper for warmth in asylum beds while wondering where their mothers are no one to help you now the white walls scream not like there ever was
6.19.2007
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